ED affects the lives of many middle-aged men and their partners to one degree or another. ED, formerly called impotence, refers to the inability to obtain an adequate erection for satisfactory sexual activity. |
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Straight from Ed's Inbox...
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Sunday, April 15, 2007
For the Fans...
I received an anonymous complaint that you can't post as "anonymous" on this blog. So I've enabled that option, so our legions of fan out there can comment more easily.
(yes, typo intended)
(yes, typo intended)
Patty vs Puck Mouse
VS
Packaging:
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
Results:Heads (iMac) - 352, Tails (Big Mac) - 391
WINNER:BIG MAC
So next time you're faced with the choice between outdated computer equipment or improper nutrition, just remember: "You're lovin' it"
(Big Mac vs. iMac (G3))
Packaging:
iMac - Comes in attractive, small box. Easy to unpack
Big Mac - Comes in attractive, small box. Easy to unpack
Winner: tie
Contents:
Contents:
iMac - Contains files
Big Mac - May contain flies
Winner: iMac
Processing Power:
Winner: iMac
Processing Power:
iMac - Processes up to 233 000 000 instructions per second
Big Mac - Contains highly processed beef, processed cheese, and special sauce
Big Macs are no stranger to processing, but the iMac has it beat in terms of pure number crunching ability...
Winner: iMac
Cores:
Winner: iMac
Cores:
iMac - Contains a single core processor
Big Mac - Has a unique "dual patty" architecture
Winner: Big Mac
Interface:
Winner: Big Mac
Interface:
Big Mac - Has an ergonomic-friendly, grippable shape, and simple bite-and-chew interface
iMac - Input is controlled by this monstrosity. Apparently, "Apple had to put a notch in later versions so that users could figure out where the button was"
Winner: Big Mac
Upgradeability:
Winner: Big Mac
Upgradeability:
iMacs - Very limited. You might be able to buy a better mouse if you're lucky
Big Mac - Double meat, extra pickles, and meal upgrades all available
Winner: Big Mac
Nutritional Value:
Winner: Big Mac
Nutritional Value:
iMac - none
Big Mac - none
Winner: tie
Market Penetration:
Winner: tie
Market Penetration:
Big Mac - Billions and billions served
iMac - I think I, uh, had a friend, who, uh, knew someone who, uh, went to a school where they had a Mac in their computer lab
Winner: Big Mac
Creepiness of Spokesperson:
Creepiness of Spokesperson:
iMac - Steve Jobs. Balding man who likes Macs
Big Mac - Ronald McDonald. Clown in a yellow jumpsuit and a permanent smile painted on his face
Winnner: The Burger King guy with the plastic head.
Wait... a... minute...
Safety:
Safety:
iMac - iMacs will cause the world to end - 730 000 hits on Google
Big Mac - Big Macs will cause the world to end - 1 310 000 hits on Google
Clearly, Big Macs are an immediate threat to humanity's existence.
Clearly, Big Macs are an immediate threat to humanity's existence.
Winner: iMac
Slogan of parent company:
Slogan of parent company:
iMac - "iThink therefore iMac"
Big Mac - "I'm lovin' it"
For avoiding excessive use of apostraphes, iMac takes this one
Winner: iMac
Results:
For avoiding excessive use of apostraphes, iMac takes this one
Winner: iMac
Results:
It was a tight race, and the results are in:
iMac - 4
Big Mac - 4
Burger King guy - 1
Tiebreaker - Coin Toss:
I chose iMac to be Heads and Big Mac to be tails and flipped a coin 743 times:
I chose iMac to be Heads and Big Mac to be tails and flipped a coin 743 times:
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
Results:Heads (iMac) - 352, Tails (Big Mac) - 391
WINNER:BIG MAC
So next time you're faced with the choice between outdated computer equipment or improper nutrition, just remember: "You're lovin' it"
I think I'm getting hungry...
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Two doctors, a leprechaun, and a giraffe walk into a bar...
So I'm going to have to say that this joke more or less takes the cake for the most effort required on the part of the both the teller and listener, with the least payoff:
The Big Brown Bear Joke (http://users.ox.ac.uk/~archery/old/jokes.html#bear)
A big brown bear walks into a beefsteak bar and says to the barman, "Barman, bring me a beer."
The barman says, "I'm sorry sir, this is a beefsteak bar. We don't bring beer to big brown bears."
So the bear goes, "Grrrrr! Barman, bring me a beer!" and belches broadly.
The barman says, "I'm sorry sir, this is a beefsteak bar. We don't bring beer to big brown bears, and we certainly don't bring beer to bears who belch broadly."
So the bear goes, "Grrrrr! Barman, bring me a beer!" and starts behaving badly.
The barman says, "I'm sorry sir, this is a beefsteak bar. We don't bring beer to big brown bears, and we certainly don't bring beer to bears who belch broadly, and we definitely don't bring beer to bears who behave badly."
So the bear goes, "Grrrrr! Barman, bring me a beer!" and badmouths the barman.
The barman says, "I'm sorry sir, this is a beefsteak bar. We don't bring beer to big brown bears, and we certainly don't bring beer to bears who belch broadly, and we definitely don't bring beer to bears who behave badly, and we refuse to bring beer to bears who badmouth the barman."
So the bear goes, "Grrrrr! Barman, bring me a beer!" and breaks a beaker.
The barman says, "I'm sorry sir, this is a beefsteak bar. We don't bring beer to big brown bears, and we certainly don't bring beer to bears who belch broadly, and we definitely don't bring beer to bears who behave badly, and we refuse to bring beer to bears who badmouth the barman, and we never bring beer to bears who break beakers."
So the bear goes, "Grrrrr! Barman, bring me a beer!" and takes a bite out of the bar.
The barman says, "I'm sorry sir, this is a beefsteak bar. We don't bring beer to big brown bears, and we certainly don't bring beer to bears who belch broadly, and we definitely don't bring beer to bears who behave badly, and we refuse to bring beer to bears who badmouth the barman, and we never bring beer to bears who break beakers, and under no circumstances will we bring beer to bears who take drugs."
"Eh?" says the bear, somewhat surprised. "I don't take drugs."
"Really?" says the barman. "What about that bar bit you ate?"
The Big Brown Bear Joke (http://users.ox.ac.uk/~archery/old/jokes.html#bear)
A big brown bear walks into a beefsteak bar and says to the barman, "Barman, bring me a beer."
The barman says, "I'm sorry sir, this is a beefsteak bar. We don't bring beer to big brown bears."
So the bear goes, "Grrrrr! Barman, bring me a beer!" and belches broadly.
The barman says, "I'm sorry sir, this is a beefsteak bar. We don't bring beer to big brown bears, and we certainly don't bring beer to bears who belch broadly."
So the bear goes, "Grrrrr! Barman, bring me a beer!" and starts behaving badly.
The barman says, "I'm sorry sir, this is a beefsteak bar. We don't bring beer to big brown bears, and we certainly don't bring beer to bears who belch broadly, and we definitely don't bring beer to bears who behave badly."
So the bear goes, "Grrrrr! Barman, bring me a beer!" and badmouths the barman.
The barman says, "I'm sorry sir, this is a beefsteak bar. We don't bring beer to big brown bears, and we certainly don't bring beer to bears who belch broadly, and we definitely don't bring beer to bears who behave badly, and we refuse to bring beer to bears who badmouth the barman."
So the bear goes, "Grrrrr! Barman, bring me a beer!" and breaks a beaker.
The barman says, "I'm sorry sir, this is a beefsteak bar. We don't bring beer to big brown bears, and we certainly don't bring beer to bears who belch broadly, and we definitely don't bring beer to bears who behave badly, and we refuse to bring beer to bears who badmouth the barman, and we never bring beer to bears who break beakers."
So the bear goes, "Grrrrr! Barman, bring me a beer!" and takes a bite out of the bar.
The barman says, "I'm sorry sir, this is a beefsteak bar. We don't bring beer to big brown bears, and we certainly don't bring beer to bears who belch broadly, and we definitely don't bring beer to bears who behave badly, and we refuse to bring beer to bears who badmouth the barman, and we never bring beer to bears who break beakers, and under no circumstances will we bring beer to bears who take drugs."
"Eh?" says the bear, somewhat surprised. "I don't take drugs."
"Really?" says the barman. "What about that bar bit you ate?"
Sunday, April 8, 2007
Imposter!
I've been alerted by an informant that this man is posing as a Kavanaut. We would like to officially state that he is not a Kavanaut, nor even a Kavanaut-in-Training. Please disregard any claims or statemants he may make regarding the C-unit, or about Kavanauts in general. We will be meeting to discuss the rammifications of his false claim, as well as to decide on possible further action regarding this issue.
Size Matters
Friday, April 6, 2007
Eyes the B'y
So I picked up a Canon SD1000 digital still camera from Best Buy for my friends, and I was playing around with it last night to check out its new features. Aside from being generally impressed by it (in particular, the low-light performance), one feature that caught my eye was its facial recognition system. Basically, the camera analyzes whatever it's looking at and tracks any faces it finds in the viewfinder in real time. Naturally, myself and Jon had to try to see if we could fool it, but despite our best efforts... well, the data will tell the tale:
No:
Nope:
Adding a third dimension didn't seem to help:
Despite Jon's lovely artwork, still no luck:
At this point, I don't know how we can get much more human:
No:
Nope:
Adding a third dimension didn't seem to help:
Despite Jon's lovely artwork, still no luck:
At this point, I don't know how we can get much more human:
Thursday, April 5, 2007
"nauts"
I may stand corrected. According to Wikipedia:
"An aquanaut is any individual who travels underwater, or sometimes, one who has lived and worked in a fixed underwater habitat on the seafloor or other underwater location for a period equal to or greater than 24 continuous hours without returning to the surface."
Given the upswing (from nothing to something, I suppose) in the space tourism industry, and the small likelihood that I'll ever want spend 24 hours under water (barring major icecap meltage), I now consider it equally improbable that I'll become either an aquanaut or an astronaut.
Not all is lost, however, as I now take this opportunity to lay down some solid guidelines for what it takes to become a Kavanaut:
"A Kavanaut is any resident of the C unit who has consumed, at minimum, half a shot of Polish plum brandy, while being an occupant of the C unit for a period equal to, or greater than, 12 continuous hours without returning to the real world."
Dare ye enter? Arr...
"An aquanaut is any individual who travels underwater, or sometimes, one who has lived and worked in a fixed underwater habitat on the seafloor or other underwater location for a period equal to or greater than 24 continuous hours without returning to the surface."
Given the upswing (from nothing to something, I suppose) in the space tourism industry, and the small likelihood that I'll ever want spend 24 hours under water (barring major icecap meltage), I now consider it equally improbable that I'll become either an aquanaut or an astronaut.
Not all is lost, however, as I now take this opportunity to lay down some solid guidelines for what it takes to become a Kavanaut:
"A Kavanaut is any resident of the C unit who has consumed, at minimum, half a shot of Polish plum brandy, while being an occupant of the C unit for a period equal to, or greater than, 12 continuous hours without returning to the real world."
Dare ye enter? Arr...
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
First Post
Well, I finally bit the bullet and did it. After months of threatening to write my own blogging pages for my website, I realized that I never get anything done, so I've created a blog on Blogspot. I don't really have any clear ideas of what's coming, but the first couple of posts that pushed me to actually register a blog deal mostly with random ideas that I think are funny, or cool, as well as the ever exciting goings-on of the C unit.
For those of you unaware, I live in unit C of a fourplex with two other guys, and the letter "C" has become an inescapable part of everyday life. As a result, we had a number of "C" themed parties, such as the "Great Big C", "C is for Christmas", "C is for Chocolate", "C is for Charite", and most recently, the "C is for Clover Leaf" parties.
As for Kavanaut.... that arose from a mispelling of our street name on some errant mail for the previous occupants of our lovely quarterplex. So we figured it would be cool to become Kavanauts, since astronaut and, to a lesser degree, aquanaut are all but out of the question.
For those of you unaware, I live in unit C of a fourplex with two other guys, and the letter "C" has become an inescapable part of everyday life. As a result, we had a number of "C" themed parties, such as the "Great Big C", "C is for Christmas", "C is for Chocolate", "C is for Charite", and most recently, the "C is for Clover Leaf" parties.
As for Kavanaut.... that arose from a mispelling of our street name on some errant mail for the previous occupants of our lovely quarterplex. So we figured it would be cool to become Kavanauts, since astronaut and, to a lesser degree, aquanaut are all but out of the question.
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